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Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Happy New Year 2014

Hello all. It's me Lili of Lili-Land and it's time for my first annual Happy New Year Greeting to you all.

It's been a crazy year as you can see from all the notes I've penned here. Derek is taking me out dancing tonight at a big club in New York where we'll watch the ball drop and drink Shirley Temples all night long.

Well... faked you out. We never go out on New Year's Eve.  New Year's is only for the lamest of lamos as our friend Meeko, he's a cat, always says.

The three of us will dine at home with shrimp, cookies, and more cookies cause tomorrow is DIET day for us all. We all seem to have been gaining a few pounds.

So here is a big old Hip Hip Hoooray for 2014. May all your dreams come true.

Friday, December 27, 2013

Lili's Pawn Stars Christmas

Hello all it's me Lili of Lili-Land and it's my favorite time of year.

Time to return all those useless items that Derek and Meeko bought for me. They mean well but I always tell them, if it's not in a blue box (Tiffany's..HINT HINT) it's going back to the store.

The best thing we all did over the Holiday was endlessly watch Pawn Stars. We just love Chumlee and the Old Man.

Well I'm off to pick up some new things. In fact, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to run over to see The Old Man and pawn all this stuff and see what items I can pick up.

Don't forget to read The Green Monkeys at

Monday, December 23, 2013

A Very Merry Christmas

Hello all it's ME, Lili of Lili-Land wishing each and everyone of you a most joyous Christmas.

Derek and I went Christmas shopping today in search of a gift for our good friend Meeko, he's a cat. And being a cat he's a bit fussy about gifts.

But we think we found him the perfect one: an enormous cashmere ball of the yarn. Pink of course. He loved it. In fact he's been playing with it all morning.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Saving Mr. Banks and Lili Paw-pins!

Hello from Lili-Land. It's me Lili and have I got a treat for you.

A while back Tom, Hanks that is, picked up the phone and called me, Lili, begging me to do a quick cameo in his new film, Saving Mr. Banks.

I tried to turn him down. But really... who turns down Tom when he calls?

So, with a quick flick of my trusty flying umbrella I whisked myself off to Hollywood for one day of work on Mr. Banks. Tom was a dear and personally put me up in the Beverly Hills Hotel mostly because I love PINK, PINK, PINK.

And of course my BFF tagged along. Derek was a dear and made sure that the hotel staff provided me with everything I needed so that I could study my lines for the shoot later that week. 

As I was sunning myself by the pool I glanced over and wouldn't you know it. There was Meeko, he's a cat. "Why, Meeko, my dear, whatever are you doing here?" 

Meeko claimed he was there to only help Derek and offered to get me a drink from the Polo Lounge. I asked him for a Shirley Temple and told him to keep them coming. Meeko ordered a few for himself. He also order us a nice lunch of cold lobster and some very expensive dog treats.

Meeko is such a dear, I thought, untill I realized he was charging it all to MY room. 

Tom, Hanks that is, personally came over to the hotel after stopping the production that morning and tossed Meeko out of the hotel.

Derek and I laughed and laughed.

But back to more important matters. Saving Mr. Banks is one of the best movies of the year. I just adore Disney and that little mouse... what's his name? Oh, yes... MICKEY. He's a really star. Just like me.

See this film. It's touching, charming, fun, sad... it will make you cheer and laugh and weep all at the same time. I can't say much more than that.

Toodles from Lili-Land. More later.

Don't forget to read The Green Monkeys over at

Friday, December 20, 2013

Do the Hustle or Get Hustled: American Hustle

Hello all... It is me, Lili of Lili-Land! 

I somewhat recall David O. Russell calling my agent Mr Matthew, I call him "Mr. Mathchoo" because he sneezes around me all the time. He tells me it is a canine thing. Some sort of allergy. 

I have no clue what he means, so I just give him Kleenex tissues. Anyway, David wanted me to star in the movie, but my schedule was full so I just did cameo shots for the movie trailer. You know to bring in the audience. 

I never read the fine print or for that matter the script. Mr Matthew warned me against that sort of thing, but me being me told Derek to read the contract and give me the jist of it! He and Meeko read it and said, oh go for it! It is about disco dancing! I found out later the two of them just wanted to meet Christian Bale! 

Christian Bale had Meeko tossed off the set the first day. Seems he isn't a cat person... who is? I'm just kidding. No offense to all my cat loving friends. But Christian Batman just didn't like Meeko cause that dumb cat kept trying to get him to say, "I'm Batman." Christian would have none of that nonsense. 

Anyway... I did some quick filming for the trailer and ran off to a day of shopping at the Mall in New Jersey. They have a lot of great tax free shopping over there. 

So.... a few months go by... and then.... 

I was in the movie mood so I decided to see American Hustle! Meeko told me it was a film about the art of dancing. You know the old dance craze the hustle! 

So, of course Derek and I said we were in! We love to dance! My pads twinkle across the floor like vanilla ice cream melting. I am smooth and cool on my feet.

News flash! American Hustle was not about dancing!

And that little nasty director actually cut me out of my cameo scenes. I guess Bobby D. had to have top billing as a cameo. Ugh... MEN.

I turned to Meeko (he's a cat) wide eyed! "You crazy cat," I whispered. "This is not about dancing!"

Meeko being the cat he is, hissed at me. 

They are just trying to make some money. "Not everyone lives in Lili-Land," he snarled.What a snippy little thing he is.
Well I was appalled, but Derek calmed me down with a big bucket of popcorn with extra butter and goobers mixed in. He even gave me a new pink glove to wear so my paws would not get greasy.

So I settled in to watch the movie.

To put it lightly... They were all crooks with crazy clothes, bad accents and terrible hair. But although there was a dance scene in it, the movie was not about the art of dancing. It was about the art of conning! The actors in the film were all great. The soundtrack had Derek and I dancing in our seats.

In truth, I thought David was trying to reach for the Martin Scorsese Award. David clearly studied Goodfellows. Memo to David. Be yourself. 

It's a fine film that in the end could have used a little cutting. Say about 10 minutes.

Don't forget to read the Green Monkey at

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

It's ME Lili of Lili-Land on the Cover of Dan's Papers.

I agreed to appear on this week's cover of Dan's Paper. I waved my usual fee of $50,000 per hour and posed for this by that world renowned artist Michael Paraskevas.

I hope you all have a Lili-icious Wonderful Christmas and a Happy Joyous New Year.... and that you get terrific presents like I do.