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Monday, September 23, 2013

RHONJ and Ruminations on Life in Joisey

Hello all! It's me Lili! Sorry I missed a few days. I was on the French Riviera with the now infamous Simon Cowell, and as they say on TMZ, his baby mama, what's her name anyway? Ugh... Here comes a fur ball creeping up in the back of my throat with disgust.

Baby mama? Eek, I hate that expression! 

I told Simon I was very disappointed in his shenanigans, but I overlooked it this time because Derek, Meeko and I wanted a free trip on his yacht. Shame on you Simon and shame on you whatever your name is!

Anyway, moving along to the RHONJ. What was up with last week's episode?
There goes Teresa talking trash with that blonde lady, Penny, that talks about tone deaf Melissa. 

What was up with that blondes hair? Was that a wig? It reminded me of this woman who was in The Cole Brothers Circus. That woman on RHONJ the blonde that looks like My Little Pony

Meeko went on and on how her hair wasn't that great! Derek snickered that she probably used Milania Hair Products that Teresa created for Long Manes.

Horsey hair, I chimed in! We all had a great laugh! Penny was like a bad penny who kept showing up!

Frankly the show was quite boring. The best was when Melissa and Little Joe went to meet with a music producer. Melissa was all phony nice and drank seltzer. Joe kept to true form and got all liquored up. The producer told Melissa to drop the club routine and write new songs.

My delicate ears!

Later at her music studio her voice peeled the paint off the walls. It did. I saw it for myself.

You can't sing.
What a hoot and holler Derek (my BFF), Meeko (he's a cat) and I had last Sunday. Melissa's voice was like listening to nails on the blackboard! We laughed! Now I, Lili, sing beautifully! I can teach Melissa a note or two!

I am Lili, HEAR me ROAR.

Another funny moment was Teresa helping Jacqueline with her public speaking. This all coming from a woman who speaks unintelligible. Does the word "ingrediences" ring a bell?

Teresa with her mother and mother-in-law at her Skinny Italian Store. HEY, If it is skinny why are all the men fat on the show?

Kathy's Dylan's Candy store debut. Caroline with her phony migraine could not show up to support her but she quickly recovered the next day.

I can go on and on here but frankly this was quite boring. Much ado about nothing. 

Stay tuned for the next episode and then the finale. I hear there is a brawl brewing on an upcoming episode at the Posh Fashion Show. Nothing like a good brawl when it involves someone other than myself! Now you're barking!

Talk next week!
Have a Lili Grand Time!
Many Lili Air Kisses to you!
See ya! As the say in New Joisey!

Don't forget to read The Green Monkeys at

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