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Sunday, July 21, 2013

Pawn Stars "PAW STARS"

First of all... Don't forget to read Lili and Derek at www.gocomics.com.



Hello All ! It is me, Lili!

I recently was in Las Vegas and stumbled upon this great shop! I was so delighted when I read the sign outside, that I thought, this is wonderful, a whole store for my paws. I can get a mani and a pedi. I walked in, and to my surprise there were all these cool items in glass cases. 

What a salon. It is great and opened 24 hours! Las Vegas is fabulous! It never sleeps!

A man approached me. He looked at me from head to toe. I became alarmed. My ears perked up. I was embarrassed. I realized my paws have not been soaked for a week, but I never had been greeted this way at a salon back in New York. Why was he staring? Was it my beauty?

I was wearing my jumbo 10 carat diamond studded collar. Was he going to grab it and run? I said in my most stern voice, "May I be of service to you, sir?"

He pointed to my collar, as I clutched it. He said to me gruffly, "What's the story behind that? What's it worth?Are those diamonds real?"

I was confused. I said more sternly, "I beg your pardon sir?"
He said, "Sir? They call me The Old Man. I own this place with my son Rick and my grandson Corey. WE throw in Chumlee for good measure."
I was speechless! I cleared my throat, it was dry from stress, like the time i swallowed the stuffing in my stuffed squirrel.

"Sir," I proceeded to speak and bark at the same time, all from nerves. I continued slowly, speaking and stressing each word. "This collar was from a Liberace auction. It was owned by Liberace's West highland terrier, West, a distant cousin of mine. I would never sell it. Besides, your sign outside says PAW SHOP! I need my pads done!"

"Your pads done?" He laughed so loud, the high pitch of his roar hurt my sensitive ears.

Then it happened, it was like I was on that John Quinones show, What Would You DO? The Old Man called his son Rick, his grandson Corey and some odd bird, Chumlee. They all stared at my collar, again inquiring about the purchase. A million bucks for that collar? I shook my head, Please stop this insanity and just give me a paw wrap!

Rick , the only sane one in the bunch, took my paw gently in his hand and informed me that this was a Pawn Shop not a Paw Shop. But the sign, the sign outside, I turned and pointed towards it. They apologized and said they were meaning to get the sign fixed. The "N" in the sign needs a new bulb and Chumlee did not fix it yet. 

"So this isn't that Quinones series? I am not on television?"

"No! But watch our show on The History Channel on Thursdays at 9 PM," they said in unison.


Embarrassed, I apologized and hurried towards the door, disappointed that this huge store was not a Paw Store but a Pawn Shop!

Me, Lili ,in a pawn shop! ugh! the horror!

"Hey, What is your name?" they shouted to me. 
I turned and said, "Lili, just Lili."
"If you ever want to sell that collar, come and see us! That a great story behind that collar. We could get a load of loot for that one!"

For a moment, the dollar signs were going off in my brain like hitting the jackpot in a slot machine. I was tempted. I heard the voice... no not West's voice... but Mr. Showman himself. I could hear the words from the Heavens call out to me...

I wish West's cousin Lili twice removed doesn't pawn that diamond collar!

I think the gentleman heard it too…I looked at them…they looked at me…we both knew I could not sell it! I touched my collar and never looked back! 
I arrived at home the next day, sat at my grand piano wearing my collar and polished my candelabras! 
I will never be a pawn star, but always a star with beautiful paws!

Be well and stay cool during this hot summer.


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