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Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Elysium! Oh, Matt Damon, what are you thinking??!??

Elysium! Oh, Matt Damon, what are you thinking??!??

I don't think Matt used any deodorant today.

Hi, it's the Lili-icious Lili! Last night Derek and I went to see the new Matt Damon movie, Elysium.

Ugggghhhh... Matt, Matt, Matt. Where do I start? This movie was set in 2154.
There are two classes of people. The pristine, like me, Lili, of course, who live on a man-made space station. The other half, the have-nots, live on the ruined, dirty, disgusting, neglected, Earth. I guess they didn't have vacuum cleaners in 2154... at least in Los Angeles.

The Earth-bound wanted equality and Matt Damon was out to get it.

Frankly, I was lost. It was a silly movie and I, Lili, was bored, despite the action scenes. Jodie Foster was a real D-O-G! She was nasty in this film, barking out her lines like a snarling Doberman. Where did they did they dig her up? Someone threw her a bone. I have not seen her in a movie in ages... but I digress.

Derek and I were chatting as the film droned on. We do that during bad movies and this grizzly man who was sitting to the right got up, stood in front of us and SSSSSH'd us!

The audacity! Did he know who I was? I am Lili! I do NOT get shhhh"d.

Well, the audience was livid. They witnessed his faux paw. In the middle of the movie, in unison, they shouted out, you don't Shh Lili!

I gave them a wave of my paw and the man apologized. We continued to watch this so called movie.

All in all, the only thing I can say about this movie is skip it! If Matt keeps making these clinkers, his next gig will be on Dancing With The Stars. Enough said!
Trust me, I did film a few action scenes with Matt for this movie because they begged me, but when I saw the final cut, I kindly asked them to remove my scenes. I cannot tarnish my image with this clunker!

I did not approve of this scene... and so had it cut.

Matt, darling, I love you and your movies. I am sure you will redeem yourself in your next film but this one needs to be Lost In Space!

I did love my outfit for this cut scene. Maybe it will make it onto the Blu-Ray edition later this year. Catch it at Walmart in the discount bin.

Trust me folks, I have more faith in mankind than this!

Skip it!
Note to Matt Damon: take a bubble bath. Soap doesn't cost that much, even in the future.

Reporting from Lili-Land.
Have a Lili pristine day!

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