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Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Green with envy over Gwyneth Paltrow? Authors Night Update!

Emergency update

EastHampton's Authors Night

Green with envy over Gwyneth Paltrow?

Hi, it's me once again Lili! I felt compelled to chime in on all the gossip. Authors Night is getting lots of press! When Derek read it to me, my fur was in a knot!

Wasn't this night about me?

What is all this hullabaloo about Gwyneth PaltrowEveryone is picking on my friend.

First of all, why are two of the authors complaining that Gwyneth stole their thunder that night? News flash! I was at the center of the storm!

Many fans came to see me... I'm sure of it.

It was my understanding that the poop-arazzi was there for me, Lili. Gwyneth and I discussed this and she agreed they were really dogging ME. I even turned down Alec Baldwin for a photo-op. 

Yes, I was sitting with Gwyneth and the fans were crowding the table blocking the other authors at a point, but it was for me, the fabulous Lili!

Yes, it is true there were body guards. Two for Gwyneth and THREE for me!
It is always about me, me, me. And now, poor Gwyneth is taking the heat for my popularity!

At one point the author Christina Oxenberg said she had to crawl under the table to get to her seat because of US. Yes, cats do crawl on all fours! Meow! I think she even has green eyes!

Note to miss Oxenberg: Yes, I had a whiff of your plate of protein. Gwyneth doesn't eat steak, but I have to admit, when you were not looking, I grabbed a piece of steak! Yum! Thank you Christina!

Please everyone, I really think all the press was there for me! Right? 
So give Gwyneth a break.

She was nothing but gracious and engaging during Authors Night as was I, Lili.
Don't hate us because we are popular and beautiful!

Any press is good press! Just spell my name correctly.


Have a sparkling day!

Don't forget to read The Green Monkeys every day.


  1. I'm always so shocked at people hating on her. She seems to be pursuing her passions authentically, and really doesn't do any harm. Gawd, I just hate the internet sometimes. I hope she doesn't read the drivel.

    On another note--I have just discovered your blog, Lili! What a barking good time! I have a boy dog, Scrappy, and he thinks you're pretty hot. Let me know if you're looking for a set-up!

    1. Well... thank you soooo sooo much. Tell Scrappy I said Hello. Have a Lili-Like day.